Recovering from trauma is a gradual, ongoing process. It doesn’t happen all at once. Nor should it. There may be sudden leaps forward or slips backward, and you'll hit hills and valleys along the way. This is all to be expected and pretty normal. Most important, trauma processing needs to be approached in a gentle and safe manner as to not become retraumatized.
Judith Herman, contemporary psychiatrist best known for her contribution in the field of psychology for research on PTSD, as well as developing the diagnosis of Complex PTSD, established a three-stage model for trauma recovery that is well-adapted for use in trauma treatment. Let's walk through it.
STAGE ONE: Safety, Stabilization, Education
The goal of this stage is a very important one — create a sense of personal safety and stability in the here and now. You're given tools by your therapist to help you achieve bodily safety needs (i.e., abstinence from self-injury, sobriety, good self-care, secure living conditions, non-abusive relationships, adequate support system, emotional safety within the therapeutic relationship, etc.)
Through psychoeducation, you're taught to:
understand the effects of trauma;
understand how trauma affects the body;
acknowledge common symptoms; and
become attuned with your body (i.e., learning how trauma affects the body, understanding overwhelming body sensations from the trauma, including intrusive emotions and distorted cognitive schemas).
You're also shown how to:
establish emotional stability (e.g., calming your body using mind-body techniques, regulating impulses, grounding, self-soothing); and
use your therapeutic tools to safely manage post-traumatic symptoms which can be triggered by unexpected, otherwise ordinary moments or events (everyday life).
So once again, the primary goal of this stage is to create a sense of personal safety and stability. This allows you, in due time, to safely process the trauma rather than continue to re-live it.
STAGE TWO: Remembrance and Mourning
At this stage, the focus is to overcome the fear of traumatic memories so they can be integrated into your present life, allowing appreciation for the person you have become as a result of the trauma.
It's when you begin discussing and processing difficult and traumatic memories with the intention of re-establishing the role they play in your life. This can be seen as a time of grieving, as grief can be brought on by your abusive experiences and the impact they had on your life. Also, you cannot ignore any mourning associated with the loss of good experiences that never had the chance to occur due to continued, trauma-based symptoms.
You now have self-regulation skills available to you, a safe and trusting therapeutic relationship with your therapist, and a foundation to help with any intrusive thoughts, emotions or overwhelming body sensations that may arise. Along with your therapist, you can begin processing and summarizing your trauma narrative in a safe and grounded manner. Overtime, you'll also begin to recognize and acknowledge that the trauma is not who you are, but rather what happened to you.
There's a lot of work that goes into this stage and please remember, it takes time. Along with your therapist, you're beginning to gently and safely dismantle and let go of any conveyed shame, guilt, and self-criticism, all of which must be worked through slowly and carefully. Shame may interfere with the trauma process as it is often associated with "It's my fault." Your therapist is there for you and will help you process through this safely. And, it's not uncommon for some to have moments of dissociation — a sort of fog or zoning out. During a session, for example, you may momentarily get lost in your past; sensing a perceived threat, and lose contact with your therapist.
Therapists who use a trauma-informed care model are trained to be aware of any dissociative moments and know how to gently guide you back to the present, helping put the dissociative moment into context and using re-grounding techniques to help get you back to the present. If memories are continually disruptive and appear to pose a deterrence from trauma-related issues, there are several ‘memory processing’ methods that can be employed during this stage of recovery, including EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and sensory motor psychotherapy.
STAGE THREE: Meaning and Reconnection
The third and final stage of trauma recovery focuses on reconnecting with others, finding personally meaningful activities, and beginning a fulfilled and healthy life — one which you are so deserving of.
This new journey is a personal one. Remind yourself you are not in a competition with anyone. This is your time to begin exploring and embracing a new sense of self. Remember to take it slowly and gently and place no time restraints on this stage. Look at it as a perpetual path; ongoing, and it's defined by you. It's not uncommon for many to want to feel better quickly. However, any type of recovery is a process and it takes consistency, commitment and self-compassion (don't forget the self-compassion!) It's also important to understand that you will never be completely free from intrusive thoughts or feelings, as unpleasant memories will present themselves from time to time. It's important to acknowledge them safely and appropriately and seek continued professional treatment should you feel the need. Remember, this is the time when you can reclaim your life and continue becoming acquainted with your true authentic self.
Wishing you a life of peace, wellness and authenticity.
Bernadette ~
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